, Donna Freitas explores how young men and women are creating a new, dysfunctional sexual norm.
Here, Freitas explains how a pervasive “hookup culture” on college campuses is creating barriers to true attachment.
There’s always something better.” “If you had a reservation somewhere and then a table at Per Se opened up, you’d want to go there,” Alex offers.“Guys view everything as a competition,” he elaborates with his deep, reassuring voice. ” With these dating apps, he says, “you’re always sort of prowling.
”It's the “maybe” and the “at some point” that gets to me. Let's use Dick's text message as an example: An underlying fear of coming across as too eager or being rejected is likely the cause behind this ambiguity.Everyone is drinking, peering into their screens and swiping on the faces of strangers they may have sex with later that evening. “Ew, this guy has Dad bod,” a young woman says of a potential match, swiping left.Her friends smirk, not looking up.“Tinder sucks,” they say. At a booth in the back, three handsome twentysomething guys in button-downs are having beers.Bravado is a big part of what perpetuates hookup culture, but if you get students one-on-one, both young women and men, you hear about a lot of dissatisfaction and ambivalence. A: Students, in theory, will acknowledge that a hookup can be good.But I think they also experience the hookup as something they need to prove, that they can be sexually intimate with someone and then walk away not caring about that person or what they did.