Before searching for a male hangout, make a written list of the qualities you bring to the table. Core qualities can’t be compromised; others of lesser importance can. However, by getting out of the house and involved in activities you enjoy, you could meet a man anywhere at any time.
But don’t go out for the purpose of meeting a mate.
My friend dated a single mom and she was always breaking plans because of childcare issues, or suggesting he just come over and watch a movie. Maybe she’s like my friend and had a baby after just dating someone. I dated a single mom who had a lot of issues with her ex and I found that I got sucked into a lot of drama.
I’m young and I want to have fun, out in the world, not be tied down to someone’s living room while her kid sleeps in the bedroom. I admire my friend for being a stand-up guy and taking care of his son, so my opinion of a woman doing the same … Also, her ex had issues with me being around his daughter because he was threatened by the relationship that was forming.
I went out with a girlfriend in Montclair, NJ, to a fun place called Just Jakes. It was a little deceiving, sure, but I thought telling the guys I was a single mom would influence their answers—and I wanted raw thoughts.
It was lovely being out sans Jack, having a cold beer at the bar, surrounded by other adults enjoying drinks, conversation, and music. I videotaped their answers, transcribed what they said, and here’s what I got: “It’s not the ideal situation for me.
Where would you suggest meeting a 60-year-old gentleman sans luggage?
“Am I asking too much for someone who doesn’t smoke, drink excessively, do drugs, have dangerous hobbies and has minimal baggage?
The supposed nice ones I meet are oozing in addiction, child support and alimony.” I responded by telling Patty there are lots of good men available and to stop being scared.
The crowd was a mix of college guys and young professionals. And when the topic of my work came up, I told a small group of guys that I was working on an interesting article that required me to tap real-life guys for their opinions on dating single moms. It seems like baggage and I wouldn’t want to be involved in any baby-daddy drama.” “My mom was a single mom most of my childhood, so I have tons of respect for single mothers.
I would absolutely go on a date with a single mom and see where it could lead.
I don’t have kids, but I want kids, so if she already has one or two, it would be a bonus.